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Steadying Yourself in the Unknown And How To Have Faith in the Middle Of It

Questions Only God Can Answer

You're lying awake at 3 a.m. again, aren't you? Your body is aching, or maybe your mind won't stop worrying about your loved one. And somewhere between the exhaustion and the ache, you whisper the question that keeps coming back: "Why did God give me this?"

That question isn't blasphemy. It's not a failure of faith. It's the cry of someone who is tired, hurting, and trying to make sense of a life that looks nothing like what you imagined. For myself, I constantly think about what Jesus went through, for me. Faith in God and His perfect plan for my life is what helps me with this question. Jesus walked as man, so fully understands pain and suffering

The truth is, I can't tell you exactly why God allowed chronic illness into your life. But I can help you look for the hope and purpose that might be hiding in the pain.

The Permission to Ask Hard Questions

God is not afraid of your questions. He never has been. Look at the Psalms—they're full of people asking God the hard stuff. "Why have you abandoned me?" "How long, O Lord?" These weren't people with weak faith. They were people brave enough to be honest with the One who knows them completely.

When you ask "Why did God give me this?" you're not disappointing Him. You're inviting Him into the realness of your struggle, which is exactly where He wants to meet you. People often misquote the Bible and say God won’t give you more than you can handle. Truthfully though, He will never give you more than He can handle. He wants us to come to Him, to trust Him, to have faith.

The difference between asking God a question and demanding that He explain Himself is important. One is an invitation. The other is a demand. One says, "I'm confused and hurting, but I trust You." The other says, "I don't trust You until You justify Yourself." Neither makes God less God, but the first one keeps your heart open. The second often closes it.

If you're reading this and you're angry—at God, at your body, at the unfairness of it all—that's okay too. Anger is honest. But eventually, we have to ask ourselves: Is this anger protecting me, or is it imprisoning me?

he Difference Between "Why" and "What Now

Watching warriors navigate chronic illness and caregivers pour everything into loving someone they can't fix: sometimes the "why" question doesn't have the answer we're looking for. Not because God is hiding something, but because the true transformation often comes from asking a different question.

Instead of "Why did God give me this?" what if we asked, "What is God asking me to become through this?"

That perspective could be the key.

When you stop demanding that the circumstances change and start asking what God wants to develop in you regardless the circumstances, something miraculous happens. You start finding purpose. You start noticing the moments of grace. You stop being a victim of your illness and start being someone choosing how you'll respond to it.

This doesn't mean your illness is good or that you should have gotten it. Chronic illness isn't punishment, and it's not a gift. It's suffering. But suffering, when we bring it to God and ask Him what He wants to change in us, becomes something we can integrate into our story rather than something that destroys it.

What God Might Be Whispering in the Hard Moments

I fully believe that God often uses chronic illness and caregiving to teach us lessons we wouldn't learn any other way. Not because He's mean, but because He loves us so much and wants us to grow,

Maybe He's teaching you compassion.
There's a particular kind of tenderness that only comes from knowing what it feels like to hurt, to be limited, to need help. If you're a warrior with chronic illness, you probably understand suffering in a way that lets you show up differently for others. If you're a caregiver, you're learning the power of being invested, of loving someone not for what they can do but for who they are.

Maybe He's teaching you about surrender.
Society today wants to fix things, to push through. Chronic illness says, "No. You can't just push through this. You have to surrender.” When we surrender, many people find more peace than they ever did in trying to fix it ourselves.

Maybe He's teaching you about faith itself.
Not the kind of faith that says "believe hard enough and you'll be healed.” I know everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but I have had so many people through  the years say, “by His stripes you are healed” followed with how I would be cured if my faith was stronger.  Think the Lord wants us to have the kind of faith that says, "I don't understand, and I'm still choosing to trust." That's the faith that moves mountains. That's the faith that sustains us.

Maybe He's teaching you about community.
You can't do this alone. Whether you're sick or caring for someone sick, you need people. And in building that community, you're giving others permission to need people too. You're breaking the myth that we're supposed to be strong enough to handle everything ourselves. We can play an active role in handling things through faith and trust, but we need to be open to those around us.

The Company You're Keeping

You're not alone in this. Some of God's most faithful people lived with significant suffering. Paul had his "thorn in the flesh” that he prayed about repeatedly, asking God to remove it. And God said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Job lost everything.. Among that he lost his cattle and his 10 children. Job questioned God, but never lost his faith in Him or ultimately in His perfect plan. God restored everything in Job’s life, even granting him 10 more children. Like Job, even when we don’t understand, we can still trust in the Lord and trust His percfect plan for our lives.

Progress Without Pressure

Proverbs 3:5 tells us to Trust the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. We need to move forward but at our own pace — without guilt, comparison, or burnout. Without acknowledging what satan brings into our life. I am thankful that the Lord has blessed me with friends and family who let me know I'm not alone. If you don't have that in person, I encourage you to make connections with likeminded people online There is a very large chronic illness community on TikTok and there are virtual support groups you can join on other platforms. Many people understand what you are going through, whether you're the one with chronic illness or the on who loves and cares about that person.